Hmm. Are life events popping up in your mind and flashing and pausing at significant moments in your life as you ponder at this pretty much pointless question? …because let’s face it, you can’t redo anything even if you really wanted to. Are there scenes still flashing in slow motion? No? Have I watched too many movies?? 😛 Yes. hahaha
These are fun things for me to think about, and I’ve already thought about so many things already that I wish I could redo. What if I didn’t play basketball my senior year in high school? Would I have taken those months to really study better and get a better score on my SAT and get into a better college? HMMM…
There are people I wish I never met. What if I had grown up in the Philippines and lived closer to my family? What if I never had the friends that I had right now and had a completely different circle of friends in the Philippines? Would my personality be a little different? WOULD I SAY MORE THAN 3 WORDS WHEN IN A CONVERSATION? HMMM…
There are paths I wish I would’ve taken. What if I wasn’t a nurse? What if I wanted to do graphic design or psychology like I kinda originally wanted? Would I still be dealing with crazy, confused, unstable, and combative people? HMMM… (actually I think I would lol people are craycray these days)
There are words I wish I could take back. YES, there are mean words that have come out of this mouth, (although I’m sure you still won’t believe me) and I have pushed away a lot of people this way.
Soooooo many things I wish I could’ve redone that I will never ever be able to change…. and here I am thinking about them once again, wondering how my life would be like today if I had chosen to do the alternative or if I had chosen to invest my time and my words a little more cautiously.
BUT. If there was one thing, just ONE thing I wish I could redo… it isn’t the things I’ve done, or to take back things I’ve said… it’s to go back to the times where I wasn’t able to say what I wanted to say, and simply just say it. I know, I’m cheating, that isn’t one thing, because seriously, I usually say like 3 words, IF you’re lucky. There are a bajillion times where I wanted to say something but just held back. There are more times that I’ve regretted not saying enough to stand up for myself, or say something encouraging when I knew someone desperately needed it because I was scared they would reject my kind gesture… there were so many times I wish I could’ve just vented and said out loud all the things that were bugging me. Nope. I didn’t get to do any of that, and those moments, those moments seem to haunt me the most.
I think that for the most part, I am content with how I am. I know most of my weaknesses and most of my strengths, I know the kind of people I like to associate with and I know what kind of work I want to do in my life. I like to think I’ve learned quite a bit from all the ups and downs I’ve experienced so far and I’m grateful for everything that’s brought me to this point, even with all the things I regret and the countless what if’s that pop in my mind once in a while like this. But I think if I had the chance to start all over again and change a few things in my past, I wouldn’t hesitate to choose to change my fate 😛 There are so many things I wish didn’t happen but did… But it doesn’t matter cuz it’s not gonna happen!! hahahaha ahhhh sad life 😛 just kidding 🙂
So what is the takeaway from this very pointless and already off topic post? Regrets will come in your life. You can’t change them, but you can change you. We wish sometimes that things didn’t happen the way that they did or that you wish that you had the power to change your past. But you wouldn’t have learned the lesson you learned, you wouldn’t have grown the way that you grew, and you wouldn’t have become stronger if you didn’t experience the painful and regretful experience that you went through. Like I always say to myself (or at least, try to), live fiercely and let the pains and disappointments in your life be a fuel in building a brighter light for others. Everything you experience, whether good or bad is experience that can potentially make you better. Stay positive, keep growing, and always think of how your experience can build yourself and others up. We only have one life, let’s live it in a way that we can always help each other 🙂