16

So last Thursday marked my 16th shift at work, my halfway point in my residency. I move onto a different unit now since I’m part of a float team. But you know, I’ve grown to love that unit so much. I’ve said it before, nursing is hard, and that unit was no joke. I end the day so tired and there are times where I’ve seriously questioned whether or not I’m able to continue in this career as a bedside nurse. The thing is, it’s the team and the environment that made me like working more than the patient interaction (although I loved working with most of my patients too). It was my co-workers’ support and concern that make me want to still come to work. And it was the culture they carried that made me feel like I was part of something that was creating a bit of positive and goodness in the world. I wasn’t sure if I would ever find that…

And my preceptor? Oh mah gulay. My preceptor was by definition a super nurse. My hospital has these 5 values that they believe in, teamwork, wholeness, integrity, compassion and excellence. She embodied all of them and for the first time, I found someone that I wanted to be like. I’ve had a few preceptors that I’ve looked up to, but I haven’t met anyone where I said to myself, “I wish I could be the kind of nurse that she is.” She’s the preceptor I first cried to, she’s the one who made me laugh right after I did, and she was the one that helped me believe that I am and will be a great nurse.

Even as I’m typing this out, I have that stupid grin on my face, the same one I wore after work on Thursday and on Tuesday after my debriefing with my preceptors. I have two by the way, and they both told me that I was doing awesome, that they wished I was hired onto their unit, and that they would miss me, even after I said I’d schedule myself onto their unit as soon as I’m allowed to. I can’t stop the stupid grin and I’m not gonna try and get rid of it just yet 😛

It feels good though. It feels good realizing that your efforts are being validated. It feels good that the people you look up to recognize the good work that you do. It feels good knowing that they want you to succeed and that they’re putting in all of their efforts to help me get to where I want to be. I feel like that’s so rare, when it shouldn’t be. But either way, I know I’m blessed and I’m not taking it for granted.  I keep finding new reasons to work even harder and I’m just so happy to be where I am. I hope this lasts a long time, but either way, I’m so thankful for everything I’ve experienced so far.