Guess what? I have a job. PCA position, not an RN position though. I took the opportunity anyway and it’s a step into a good teaching hospital. I’ll most likely transition into their RN positions in a couple months into their ICU and step-down units, floors that I have a sincere interest in. While working as PCA, I can reinforce some nursing fundamentals and learn to appreciate the nursing assistant staff as well. Either way, the experiences will only make me a better nurse. It’s not what I had in mind at all, but I trust that this all happening for a good reason. It’s absolutely crazy what God is doing in my life. I still can’t figure out what He really wants me to do. But slowly, all of the things He’s laying out in my life are starting to come to fruition.
This hospital has a program that I’ve been looking at for about a year now. I have the feeling that I might be heading towards that direction for my career path and nursing niche. I definitely have to pray about it. It’s a big commitment and an incredibly small niche in nursing. It’s something I have to be 100% sure about before diving in.
It’s pretty cool though, isn’t it? You don’t always know where you’re headed. You just keep walking, hoping one day you’ll end up exactly where you’re supposed to be. And then one day, after walking and walking and walking, you finally start to see your destination on the horizon. You still have a long way to go, but you at least know where you’re headed.
I’ve held onto 3 mantras throughout nursing school and throughout this period of waiting:
1) Trust your struggle.
2) God is preparing you for greater things.
3) Let all that I am wait patiently before God, for my hope is in Him.
Maybe this job has given me new hope, maybe my recent bouts of sadness were unnecessary pains I inflicted on myself.. All I know now is that everything that has happened and everything I have felt has led me to this moment. I’m growing and changing and whatever transformation that’s happening right now, I’m 100% embracing that change.