*sigh*
I’ve been working on my own now for a couple of months and don’t get me wrong, I still love nursing 😛 This isn’t that kind of “conflicted” post.
But like I’ve mentioned before, I’m a float nurse. That means whichever unit is short, that’s where I go. The plus side is that I at least get to choose which unit I float to and it’s not 100% unpredictable. BUT, as much of a good experience it is to get to be on a cardiac specialty unit or a neuro specialty unit, I find myself not fitting in to the team culture. I feel like an outsider, like a temp contract worker, and definitely not part of the team. I mean, they don’t leave me alone, they still talk to me and help me out when I need it, but gosh, I don’t feel like I fit in? Like I’m part of the team for that day but I’m not part of the team?
Let’s put it this way, one of my wishes coming out of my preceptorship for my capstone in nursing school was to find a nursing work family. I saw how the team was together and it was absolutely awesome. I really wanted to find that. Now it’s not like I haven’t found that. On what I consider to be my home unit, the unit I trained on and the unit I spend the most time on, I feel that. I feel like part of the family, there are co-workers that feel like family and they always welcome me every time I’m on their unit. Like legitly lol (That isn’t even a word but oh well). Like the other day, my co-worker saw me on another unit and said, hey! why aren’t you on our unit today? And then whenever I’m in huddle, the charges always acknowledge me and thank me for being on their unit. This is the only unit that makes me feel like I belong on their unit.
But like I always try to do, I’m looking at the bigger picture. In the long run, which experience is going to make me a better nurse? Do I stick it out as a float for a year and get a wide range of good experience that will make me a well rounded nurse? Or do I stick to a home unit where I know I’ll still be a good nurse, but not get exposure to specialty units. That’s right, conflicted. For me, this translates to, be unhappy for a little bit and get reward at the end (well rounded nursing experience) or be happy now and have a more narrow range of experience than you could have.
I’m still praying about it. But the longer I pray, the more I feel drawn to staying on a home unit. And I feel like I’m headed in that direction. We’ll see. I’m still praying about it and until I feel like God has led me to choose one over the other, I’m going to just stay where I’m at right now.