You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will standAnd I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
This song was my mantra and also the song that kept me sane all throughout the times I was experiencing my lowest lows throughout 2014 and I’m sure I’ll continue to use it whenever I need a little encouragement. The rejections I mentioned before, a few disappointments here and there, times where I’ve lost faith in myself… every single time I felt beside myself, I’d listen to this song. I’ve probably listened to this a thousand times. I’d take hour long walks after dinner and just put this on repeat. When I couldn’t talk to anyone or just wanted to be by myself, I’d put my headphones on, lock myself in my room and pretend to sleep while I listened to this song until I actually fell asleep. Whenever I drove anywhere, the radio would either be off, or I would listen to this song. That’s how obsessed I was by the feeling I had when listening to this, and this is how much I needed to remind myself of God’s promise in my life when everything felt like it wasn’t going my way.
The lyrics and melody were so therapeutic and I always used it as a distraction, a call to action, and a reminder to realign myself with God and to trust Him when I’m up to my head under water and feel like I can’t do anything anymore. There were times I would go to church, I would be revived by the message, and then the next day, I’m back to that defeated state I was in, that state of hopelessness and discouragement. That was the state of my psyche and my spirit, and even today it still makes me cringe looking back and thinking about the emotions I was going through at the time.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
This part of the song spoke to me the most. I’m not sure why I even wanted to write this blog post about this song, but I know for a fact that listening to this as many times as I did helped me in ways I never thought a simple song could. A part of me wants to forget this part of my life. But another part of me wants to remember it all, just to prove to myself that if you wait patiently on God, no matter how difficult life can get, with Him, you can get through it. God has His ways of speaking to us in difficult circumstances. I didn’t realize it at the time, but He definitely revealed Himself to me through this song. He was there, walking with me when I thought I was walking by myself. He was there, comforting me in my room when I didn’t want to talk to anyone. In each drive I made to different hospitals, or to different errands I had to run, He was there encouraging me.
For me, this song was one way that God touched my life. It’s different for everyone, but it’s there, you just have to look for it. Whatever state you may be in today, whether you’re on a high point in your life or a low point, God’s right there with you. Don’t ever doubt it.