I look into my mirror, and I see everything is different.
Bright eyes are puffy and swollen from tears… they’re tired now, and the redness proves it.
That open, optimistic face… it’s now long and distant from constant disappointment.
And those lips, the ones constantly praying and encouraging? They are pursed closed with anger and frustration.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know why I changed. I’m tired and I feel fake. I can’t say what I need to say and what I feel… I feel I shouldn’t be feeling. Everything is inside me and I don’t want to let it out. I can’t get over all of this because I’ve never felt this bad before and it all makes me so angry.
I wonder all the time why I feel this way. I rationalize all the possibilities and I still can’t understand why I am inflicting this pain onto myself. I can’t understand why I can’t keep better control over all this. I’m scared. I’m mad. I feel really alone in all this.
I look into my mirror, and I am sad because everything… everything is completely different.