I’m trying to change. I’m trying so hard. But right now something in me doesn’t feel quite right and I can’t pinpoint exactly what the problem is. This inner struggle I am feeling is … different. Usually, I can be objective enough about my feelings and actions to know what exactly is bothering me and what I can do to change it so that I can move forward. But this time, I can’t. The past week I’ve been so angry and frustrated and at the end of the day I’m just so tired.
Dear God,
I don’t know why my heart is aching so much right now. I don’t know why my mind is drawing so much negativity. I don’t understand why I’m so depressed and tired at the end of the day. But I trust that there is a reason for all of this. I know that even though I don’t know what is bothering me, I know that you do. I know that you are the only remedy to my suffering right now and I’m drawing strength from my confidence that you know what is best for me and that you are molding me into the person that is going to do great things for Your glory. Forgive me for all my shortcomings, for all my doubts and fears… I want to be better… I want to be a brighter light… I trust that in Your time, I will become that person that I know I can be. Please give me the strength to smile despite my sadness, the clarity of mind to see the positive in life, and the eyes to see the light I know is present throughout my life and Your world. I love You Lord, and right now, that love is the only thing keeping me going right now…