My last post here was in 2020, and if I could recap what happened in the last 5 years, this would probably be a novel. Heartbreak and healing, unlearning old habits, prioritizing myself… these were the themes that flutter through my mind as I get flashbacks of what it was like. Although so much has changed, it simultaneously feels like nothing has changed as well. To summarize my time at West Coast – it was like one of toxic relationships in the movies. The heroine thinks she can save everyone, but in the process only hurts herself. I was content in making whatever waves I wanted to make in my small-ish department. But when ethics and boundaries are crossed, it takes away a part of you that you can’t get back. I will never regret my time there because I did so much good and built so many great things. But a little part of me does wish that I listened to my intuition sooner so that I wouldn’t get hurt the way that I did in the end. As far as my role at Cal State? Guess who’s in a leadership(ish) role? The one who said she’d never do…

It’s been quite a while since writing in the blog – I’ve come back here every once in a while, uninspired, fatigued, and drained, hoping to find a burst of energy to put to words the things weighing down my mind. Still not quite there, but today I feel compelled to try. This year, I turned thirty. I quit my bedside job, I started a full time teaching job and now I’m looking forward to how this next step propels me to the next part of my career. I do want to talk about that a bit, why I left bedside. I know, I love nursing, I love patient care… but I had to take a hard look at myself and I did not want to be a hypocrite. I tell my students, have the self awareness to know when you’re not providing the care your patients deserve – whether it’s from burnout, or compassion fatigue, or boredom – don’t let your patients suffer from your suffering. I had put my foot in so many doors and it completely depleted me having to give my 100% to every area. I probably could have left sooner, but I definitely felt that…

It still felt surreal to be having an experience like this and of course, I did what I could to make the most of my short time in Huancayo. While there isn’t a whole lot of things to do in my area, and since Machu Picchu was way too far, we decided on this lovely spot a couple hours drive from our city. After spending some time trying to get acclimated to the high altitude, we asked our host to help us arrange a weekend excursion at Huaytapallana.  We left at 08:15 in the morning and drove up unpaved roads, mimicking that bumpy Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland. Even though it was a bit late in the morning, we were met with thick blankets of fog that hovered the roads. Every now and then we would see random animals and farms and seemingly abandoned houses. As we approached the entrance, we were met with a slight drizzle, and yes, it was extremely cold as well.  I didn’t realize it, but as high up as we were in Huancayo, we were higher up in Huaytapallana. Just a few steps on a flat road left me breathless and as you can imagine,…

This is my year of many “firsts” and this past September, I finally crossed off one of the last things off my list of “nursing goals in five years plan” – going on a medical mission. I spent 10 days in Huancayo, Peru – a rural town about 8 hours from Lima. I spent a night in Miraflores and the next morning, we headed up to Huancayo, through mountains, past lakes and llamas, and little towns with little people. The whole time, it reminded me of driving through the Philippines… unpaved roads, roaming animals, and carefree children wandered about each town. The people themselves also looked a bit Asian? And that’s when I learned that there were Chinese “immigrants” that came to South America to build their railroad. I put that in quotes because the reality is, these immigrants were slaves and had to do the work, just like in the US. They were second-class citizens, but just like the Chinese are, they made their own path with hard work and now, many of the successful businesses in Peru are owned by Chinese families. They also influenced their cuisine, creating their own fusion Peruvian-Chinese food called, “chaufa.”  The first day…