I’m into my 3rd week of the nursing program and work, and let me just say, I am feeling very much alive. From providing a smile to customers even when you don’t feel like it, to reading 11 chapters of repetitive statements in one week, all I can say is that I am stressed to the max. But oddly enough, I am not mad, I am not sad, I am just tired all the time. You could say that I am content. Actually, I’m finally feeling what it feels like to be (somewhat) financially independent, and I am in the forefront of beginning my career. It’s pretty awesome… It’s crazy how stressed I am, but I’m happy about it. The adjustments, I have to admit, are not easy. When I was just starting, I was thinking about quitting already, but I adjusted, and I’m getting used to everything. As you can see, my thoughts are super frazzled. I feel like my priorities are all over the place. But it’s okay, cuz I know I’m going to get them straightened out soon enough. For anyone reading this, pray for me. Pray that I stay healthy, that I keep my eyes focused on what…

So, today I started my first shift at a panda-innesque place (<–I just made that up) near school. By far, that was the fastest 5 hr shift I have ever had. And I had so much fun too! It was like reality Diner Dash, except I was Flo =] For those of you who don’t know what that is, Diner Dash is a computer game where you manage a restaurant. I was basically the runner, the person who serves out the food, and it was fun. My supervisor said I was learning pretty fast and would probably be manning a cashier in a couple of days. OH! And I got my first tip too =] A whole $2! Hey, that’s pretty good considering that this restaurant doesn’t even mandate tips. They’re optional. So yeah, I am super stoked and ready to begin my studying now. I think I can handle working and studying at the same time. I hope I can survive this quarter.

Today, I watched the last Harry Potter movie. To say it surpassed my expectations would be an understatement because this movie is literally a roller coaster of emotions. I felt my heart melt, jump, and drop so many times I could not even count. I realize, Harry Potter has been over for a while now… The last book came out four years ago… But I can’t help but feel that sadness over the reminder that a story I grew up with, a story that everyone could relate to in one way or another, a story that inspired, is now, at an end. The fact that billions of people all over the world have followed Harry’s story from the very beginning is a clear indication of its relatability and its ability to inspire us all to be better… to be greater.  So what can I say, really? It really isn’t over. Harry Potter will always, and forever will be a part of me, a part of my childhood, and a part of legacy that will last forever. In my mind, I was with them all on this stark journey, and although it may all be fiction, although it may not be…

There are days where you wish you were somewhere else. There are moments when you wish you were someone else. May it be jealousy or shame, in these moments of weakness, I find it only takes a feeling of losing everything to know that I already have everything. You feel like shouting? Learn to be still. Is your heart filled with rage? Learn to love.  Don’t know where to turn? Turn to HIM. There is only one person who knows what you’re going through, and there is only one person who can help you through this time of distress. When all you feel like is being negative, know that your life is worth so much more. So much.

One day, you will see. One day, you will understand. All the things that are happening to you serve a purpose, there is a reason behind it all, even though you can’t understand it at the moment. The waiting, the frustration, the gravity of it all seem to be dragging you in all directions but the direction you have planned for yourself. But one day, you will see that all of the so called struggles you endure today have molded you into a better person for tomorrow. The optimism of it all is annoying, I know. Just be positive, look at the brighter side of things, “things will get better.” It doesn’t resolve anything. The relief in those words are quite temporary. My problem still exists. But you cannot appreciate your impending success without first knowing failure. You can’t know what happiness is without the empty feeling of loneliness and sadness. You can’t be you, without first knowing what you’re not. Life, is life. We can’t predict it, we can’t know where it will take us. All we can hope in is that there is a purpose for everything, even if we are blinded by everything else.