Hmm. Are life events popping up in your mind and flashing and pausing at significant moments in your life as you ponder at this pretty much pointless question? …because let’s face it, you can’t redo anything even if you really wanted to. Are there scenes still flashing in slow motion? No? Have I watched too many movies?? 😛 Yes. hahaha These are fun things for me to think about, and I’ve already thought about so many things already that I wish I could redo. What if I didn’t play basketball my senior year in high school? Would I have taken those months to really study better and get a better score on my SAT and get into a better college? HMMM… There are people I wish I never met. What if I had grown up in the Philippines and lived closer to my family? What if I never had the friends that I had right now and had a completely different circle of friends in the Philippines? Would my personality be a little different? WOULD I SAY MORE THAN 3 WORDS WHEN IN A CONVERSATION? HMMM… There are paths I wish I would’ve taken. What if I wasn’t a nurse?…

I was just thinking, out of all the big things that have happened in my life, I feel like they were things I didn’t want. 1. College: I didn’t want to go to my school. Nope. Nope. Nope. I wanted the feeling of going to a well-known and prestigious college, I wanted to dorm, I wanted to see what it would be like to live away from home for a little bit. NOPE. Went to my back-up college that was 15 minutes away from home. 2. Career: As I’ve said before, I’ve always wanted to be in the medical profession, but nursing was always something I was hesitant about. I felt pushed by outside factors to choose this profession for the financial stability, flexibility, and the fact that even if bedside nursing doesn’t work out, there’s a crapload of other nursing related jobs that I could fall back on. 3. Hospital: The place I work at is 55 miles away from home. I commute to work each day. It wasn’t my first choice at all and it was one of those situations where I heard about a hiring event, said hey, what do I have to lose (a.k.a. this is…

Guess who started working as an RN?? Hehehe I am seriously on cloud 9 right now despite the eye bags and zombie walk. I know it’s just the beginning and I know I’ve been itching to start working for a really long time now and maybe that’s why I’m so happy. But seriously, despite all of the doubt I had about my future, the feeling I have right now is thankfulness. I always thought I was ready. I had that kind of pride. But looking back, the past 3 months working as a PCA helped me so much. The past couple days I’ve had working as an RN have gone by so quickly and somewhat smoothly because I knew where everything was, I could easily talk to that confused patient trying to take off her gown to get back into bed (until shift change hehe) and I knew who I could ask for help from. The nurses who I’m giving report to or helping transfer patients to and from units, I’ve worked with most of them, so I’m comfortable talking to them and they’re comfortable with helping me and teaching me. The experience I’ve had has been invaluable and I…

So Sasha is having one of those existential crises  again 😛 It’s cuz it’s night time and I’m only wide awake because I’m convinced that I have to get ready for my 0200 turns and then my quick “lunch” and then get ready for my 04oo vitals on 13 patients and daily weights and empty out all the urinals and foleys for I’s and O’s before 0500. Let’s just say, this work weekend was craycray and I KO’d hard after work and now I’m wide awake. But as I sit here I keep thinking about life and living and whether or not I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing or if I’m doing the complete opposite. I wonder if I’m growing and changing into a better person. I wonder if my patients feel how much I care for them in those brief moments that I spend with them. I wonder if the sacrifices I’m making with my commute to work will be worth it in the end. I’m wondering if I’m a good friend or if I’m becoming that friend that I’ve come to resent. I keep wondering and wondering about all these things. That’s just the tip of…

A person who chases two rabbits catches neither. Woah. I follow Dale Partridge on Twitter, and he posted this thought provoking quote the other day. I haven’t been able to keep it off my mind. He posts so many good quotes and he has many blog posts on character development, relationships, life, love, and everything in between. I’ve come to especially respect his insights in 140 characters or less. You should check him out. Going back to the quote, I thought it to be something that stopped me right in my tracks because of how true it was.  In my own life, I’ve lived off the idea of taking advantage of every opportunity that is set before you. Every experience, good or bad, is experience that will make you better. Every person that comes in your life, who hurts you or blesses you, will help you in some unexpected way. Career opportunities were held under the same principle, that each offer to be considered would bring me one step closer to where I wanted to be in my life, whether or not that opportunity would make me happy or unhappy. So in essence, I’m going to take every opportunity set before…