This past week I was lucky enough to be blessed with an awesome birthday present from the bestie, tickets to Wicked the musical 🙂 It was such an unforgettable experience and I loved the story-line, the characters, the music, and the overall production. Even now thinking about it, I still feel a bit giddy and my insides feel like jumping up and down like a crazy person. Watching something that well put together really brought up emotions in such a unique way that took me back to some old dreams I had growing up. To be clear though, I’ve always wanted to be in the medical field since I was very young. And I’m definitely happy to be a nurse. But looking through my timeline of “What Does Sasha Want To Be When She Grows Up,” I’ll tell you that I used to want to be a pediatrician, and then I wanted to be a basketball player, I’ve wanted to delve into architecture, and then interior design, and even psychology. Yes, random. And people have also asked me, if you weren’t a nurse, what other non-medical related field would you choose? I usually say the same thing, probably an English professor or a writer, or…

So, if there’s anything I like to “brag” about myself, it’s the fact that I think that I have a lot of patience. Patience, meaning that I don’t get easily upset when things don’t go my way… patience, meaning that I’m willing to explain something to someone 10 times, 8 different ways… patience, meaning that I’m willing to take a step back and look at the bigger picture of things and understand that everything will not happen right away… patience meaning more than just waiting… more like being understanding and considerate of others, more like willing to take the long way of doing things to make sure things are done right, or more like being comfortable in being uncomfortable, knowing in the end things will still be okay.. So, being PCA, I’ve been stuck with a few patients that required more patience than I thought I had. One patient was developmentally delayed, blind, deaf and kept hurting himself despite being in restraints while yelling spontaneously at random times of the night. Another patient had dementia, spoke another language, kept trying to get out of bed and refused any care from anyone. Another patient was going through alcohol withdrawal symptoms and…

You call me out upon the waters The great unknown where feet may fail And there I find You in the mystery In oceans deep My faith will stand And I will call upon Your name And keep my eyes above the waves When oceans rise My soul will rest in Your embrace For I am Yours and You are mine This song was my mantra and also the song that kept me sane all throughout the times I was experiencing my lowest lows throughout 2014 and I’m sure I’ll continue to use it whenever I need a little encouragement. The rejections I mentioned before, a few disappointments here and there, times where I’ve lost faith in myself… every single time I felt beside myself, I’d listen to this song. I’ve probably listened to this a thousand times. I’d take hour long walks after dinner and just put this on repeat. When I couldn’t talk to anyone or just wanted to be by myself, I’d put my headphones on, lock myself in my room and pretend to sleep while I listened to this song until I actually fell asleep. Whenever I drove anywhere, the radio would either be off, or…

It’s New Year’s Eve and it’s that time again where I reflect and look back on the year in its entirety. I’ve endured a lot this year, a lot of things that I’ve planned for years has finally been accomplished like graduating, passing boards and finding a job. And then there were other things along the way that I never could have planned for, like continuous rejections, feeling incredibly isolated, losing touch with a few friends, finding new friends, and feeling doubt and fear about my future beyond anything else I’ve ever experienced. Some things in life don’t go as you expect, and even if you carry a perspective of flexibility and understanding, there are still things that you don’t always readily accept or easily comprehend no matter how much you prepare. I’ve relied so much on faith to get me through some of my tougher seasons and to kind of look back on how much I’ve gone through and to see how different I am from the starting line, I can’t help but look up to God and shyly smile and say, I know it was all for this, I shouldn’t have ever doubted in the first place. Even though I’m still…

I was thinking about all the relationships/friendships I’ve had over the years. I was thinking of the ones I’ve maintained, the ones I’ve let fall apart, and the ones I’ve purposefully distanced myself from. I keep thinking, how is it that in my whole life, I haven’t been able to keep friends close? Why do I always push them away?? Is it a trust thing? What is it?? First of all, I hate to think that it’s a trust issue. I learned a long time ago that if you don’t trust people, inherently it means that you don’t trust yourself. I learned to think that it’s okay to keep trusting others because if they disappoint you, the one at fault is the one who broke the trust, not you (for the most part). You should never be hard on yourself from trusting others. But it’s just so hard! Who likes to be disappointed? Not me. Who doesn’t feel hurt when certain expectations aren’t met? I’m pretty sensitive. It’s a bit embarrassing. But seriously, even in carrying this mindset, I still feel the need to distance myself  from anyone who hurts me, I still struggle to completely forgive and let go,…