*sigh* I’ve been working on my own now for a couple of months and don’t get me wrong, I still love nursing 😛 This isn’t that kind of “conflicted” post. But like I’ve mentioned before, I’m a float nurse. That means whichever unit is short, that’s where I go. The plus side is that I at least get to choose which unit I float to and it’s not 100% unpredictable. BUT, as much of a good experience it is to get to be on a cardiac specialty unit or a neuro specialty unit, I find myself not fitting in to the team culture. I feel like an outsider, like a temp contract worker, and definitely not part of the team. I mean, they don’t leave me alone, they still talk to me and help me out when I need it, but gosh, I don’t feel like I fit in? Like I’m part of the team for that day but I’m not part of the team? Let’s put it this way, one of my wishes coming out of my preceptorship for my capstone in nursing school was to find a nursing work family. I saw how the team was together and…

I get a lot of patients that are really old. Like 90’s old. I’ve been blessed enough to have talked to a couple of them that were not only 95 and 96 years old, but they were still sharp as whip, cracking jokes like nobody’s business, and racing around the unit with their walkers with pretty minimal assistance. In the short instances I get to talk to them while I’m giving them medication or doing something for them, they’ve given me their secret to how they’ve stayed so alert, so active, and so happy. First tip: Faith. As long and as difficult as their lives may have been, their faith had gotten them through many hard times. Their belief in God is what gave them something to hold on to, it’s what kept them humble, and it’s what gave them some sort of purpose in their life. Second tip: Don’t stop reading. I asked her what she did at home to keep busy, she told me she borrowed books from the library and read a book every week. She never stops reading and she would read anything and everything. Third tip: Never stop learning. This kinda ties into tip #2,…

Almost done with my residency 🙂 Even though I’m scared to be on my own in a couple of weeks, I am sooooo ready to start working on my own. I’ve scheduled myself onto my favorite unit and for the few times I’m off that unit, I’ve made sure to work at the same time as my other co-workers 😛 Who gets to do that? I do 🙂 Perks of being a float nurse in a chronically understaffed hospital! You know, the more I work, the more I get better. The more I work, the more I realize that there’s still sooooo much more that I need to know and figure out. Each day I work, the more I realize that I’m in the right place. Is that bad? To admit that I’m kinda sorta happy? Yeah? Yeah, I low key think so too. The only reason I hesitate to admit it is because of the new found sense of superstition in me as a nurse. Saying things are good preemptively often will result in the complete opposite. For example, you never ever say it’s quiet on the floor. NEVER. Because that next admit’s gonna be a train wreck, and it’s…

So last Thursday marked my 16th shift at work, my halfway point in my residency. I move onto a different unit now since I’m part of a float team. But you know, I’ve grown to love that unit so much. I’ve said it before, nursing is hard, and that unit was no joke. I end the day so tired and there are times where I’ve seriously questioned whether or not I’m able to continue in this career as a bedside nurse. The thing is, it’s the team and the environment that made me like working more than the patient interaction (although I loved working with most of my patients too). It was my co-workers’ support and concern that make me want to still come to work. And it was the culture they carried that made me feel like I was part of something that was creating a bit of positive and goodness in the world. I wasn’t sure if I would ever find that… And my preceptor? Oh mah gulay. My preceptor was by definition a super nurse. My hospital has these 5 values that they believe in, teamwork, wholeness, integrity, compassion and excellence. She embodied all of them and…

(FYI: This post is super duper long.) Congratulations Sasha on having your first mental breakdown as a nurse 😛 AHHHHH! So here was my patient list yesterday: #1: ETOH withdrawal, hallucinating, restrained on all 4 extremities. Never knew the location, what day/time it was, and didn’t even recognize spouse. Needed anti-anxiety meds every 2 hours based on 20 point assessment scale that also needed to be done before giving the med. #2: Terminally ill. Nonverbal the entire stay. Nurses weren’t able to recognize that patient might have been stroking out the day/night before because she’s been so unresponsive. CT’s and MRI’s all day. Neurology, neurosurgery, hematology, oncology, nephrology and palliative care teams writing out orders almost every 30 minutes, meds to give hourly, in and out of her room 3 times for procedures. Always had something abnormal to report/chart. I couldn’t keep up. #3: Had this one for 3 days. Kept asking for pain medication. Has a history of pain med seeking. Just had surgery, so no doubt patient was in pain. But patient has built a tolerance, needs higher dosage now just to keep comfortable since the body’s built a tolerance. Rudest person I’ve ever dealt with, and I had a really hard time…