There are days where you wish you were somewhere else. There are moments when you wish you were someone else. May it be jealousy or shame, in these moments of weakness, I find it only takes a feeling of losing everything to know that I already have everything. You feel like shouting? Learn to be still. Is your heart filled with rage? Learn to love.  Don’t know where to turn? Turn to HIM. There is only one person who knows what you’re going through, and there is only one person who can help you through this time of distress. When all you feel like is being negative, know that your life is worth so much more. So much.

One day, you will see. One day, you will understand. All the things that are happening to you serve a purpose, there is a reason behind it all, even though you can’t understand it at the moment. The waiting, the frustration, the gravity of it all seem to be dragging you in all directions but the direction you have planned for yourself. But one day, you will see that all of the so called struggles you endure today have molded you into a better person for tomorrow. The optimism of it all is annoying, I know. Just be positive, look at the brighter side of things, “things will get better.” It doesn’t resolve anything. The relief in those words are quite temporary. My problem still exists. But you cannot appreciate your impending success without first knowing failure. You can’t know what happiness is without the empty feeling of loneliness and sadness. You can’t be you, without first knowing what you’re not. Life, is life. We can’t predict it, we can’t know where it will take us. All we can hope in is that there is a purpose for everything, even if we are blinded by everything else.

It’s a cloudy day. Nice weather for taking a walk. So I walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. I feel the wind rush by my face in the other direction, like it was in a hurry to find something I had left behind. I start smiling at the thought of my past, my experiences, my youth, the things I left behind, the people I left behind….. and my life. I smile at the thought that as I walk forward, I leave all those experience behind, or rather, I use those experiences to help me put one step in front of the other. Yes, I smile, but I keep walking. For once, my past is behind me. It no longer pulls at me when I pretend I’m okay, it no longer stops me from walking forward, it no longer reminds me of what I lack but instead it reminds me of who I have become in spite of it all. I sigh a big sigh of relief at being free from all the pain and misery I burdened myself with and I smile. The sun is coming out, it is peeking out from the clouds. It’s radiance and warmth gently touch my face.…

Close your eyes. Be still. Concentrate on being quiet. Forget everything that is going around you. Now open your eyes. Today, I spent a lot of time thinking. In this time of contemplation I desperately tried to resolve some of the issues I have, trust issues. For some reason, I don’t think that high of myself. I don’t trust myself enough to let love in, and I don’t trust anyone enough to give it away. So how do I resolve this? Today, I spent too much time thinking. I spent so much time thinking of all the painful things that have happened and all the painful things that I’ve held on to that I started crying. Why I have put all this pressure and pain on myself, I don’t really know. But I hope I resolve it soon because I feel I’m going to explode. Tomorrow, I’m going to take a step back. I often think ahead, plan for my future, plan for anything that might go unplanned. Tomorrow, I’m going to take a step back and take a deep breath. I have so much to do. I have so little time. I need to rest, I need to rest,…

If I should have a daughter… Instead of “Mom”, she’s going to call me “Point B.” Because that way she knows that no matter what happens, At least she can always find her way to me. And I’m going to paint the solar system on the backs of her hands So that she has to learn the entire universe before she can say “Oh, I know that like the back of my hand.” And she’s going to learn that this life will hit you, hard, in the face, wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach, but getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air. There is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by band-aids or poetry, so the first time she realizes that Wonder Woman isn’t coming, I’ll make sure she knows she doesn’t have to wear the cape all by herself. Because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal. Believe me, I’ve tried. “And baby,” I’ll tell her,…