Just got rejected from my first potential nursing job (supersadface). I made it to the final interview but I didn’t make the cut. But you know what, I really saw this coming. I knew I wouldn’t get it, not because I didn’t believe in myself or anything like that, but because it would’ve been too good to be true. First interview, at an awesome hospital, with someone you know on the panel? Don’t call me a pessimist or think that I’m being bitter, but I never envisioned myself really working there and was doubtful from the very beginning. And of course, there were too many other factors involved as well: waaaaay too far, it was only a part-time position, I never had a clinical there, I didn’t know anything about the hospital, or its working culture and so on and so forth. And of course, it just didn’t feel right. It still stings like crazy though, and considering that I felt pretty prepared for rejection, I still felt horribly about not getting the offer. It just got me thinking though, about how much God is looking out for me. I’m 100% sure He is preparing me for something better. I…
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IT’S OFFICIAL
After studying my butt off for about 47 days, I have officially passed the NCLEX! I’m the first nurse in the family! YAY! At the end of it, I really did fry my brain. I was a wreck, nervous for no reason, and fatigued beyond anything I’ve ever felt before. Overwhelmed was an understatement. But it’s over! And now the next mountain to climb is finding a job. I’ve been praying fervently about this and I trust that God is working on something for me, even if it seems like I’m waiting for nothing at this point. I’ve been memorizing interview questions and looking at my resume a few times a day. I know that just like the NCLEX, I’m worrying for no reason, but hey, it’s me. I’m a true blue worry wart. So that’s my super brief praise report! I’m extremely proud of myself and what I’ve accomplished. I’m thankful for everything I’ve gone through to get here, even if I was miserable during the process. I’m happy for the people I’ve met along the way, the lessons I’ve learned, and the relationships I was able to maintain til the end of it all. I’m really excited for…
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Serve Others
I was blessed with another great sermon by Pastor Ken. You don’t even know how many times God has affirmed myself and my thoughts through the words of my pastor and this Sunday, I was reminded of my mission and purpose in life. This week has been hard for me in different ways and I was experiencing a lot of doubt. Studying for NCLEX is hard. Waiting for job interviews is hard. But it just goes to show that God always has your back, even if it’s not blantantly obvious in every single situation. So going back to Pastor Ken’s message, it was about serving others. Wow, you were probably expecting it to be profound, huh? Well, the most profound messages are the most simplest, and sometimes even the simplest of messages are the most difficult to carry out in reality. But he was talking about churches and their missions, how they start off with the purpose of service and sacrifice and kind of end up with a mentality of survival. I’m oversimplifying everything of course and just mentioning the points that resonated with me, but isn’t it true? He also mentioned that even if a church should die out,…
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Community
You know, one of the biggest things that I’ve learned in my life is pursuing and preserving a sense of community, whether this is at church, at school, or within your circle of friends and family. Why? Good question. At first I thought, the world is such a crazy, lonely, and harsh world. Why not build relationships of support, guidance, and love? Why not create these circles that we can depend on in time of need? Pretty ambitious, huh? The problem is, not everyone thinks this way. This harsh world that I’m talking about? It’s hurt a lot of people and not a lot of people see things the way I do. It makes them close up, it makes them depend on only themselves, even when they really do want that shoulder to lean on. And so my next point is, why should I even care then? Why do I care so much to have everyone feel included and supported? Are they returning the favor? No. Do I benefit from it? Not that I know of. Not directly anyway. That’s part of the problem though. People have lost sight of that selflessness and that sacrificial love that God gifted us…
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Denial
Graduation is coming up super fast 🙂 Well, the nerves haven’t gone away and I’m just anxious-excited-scared-hopeful-happy that this day has finally come. But a new set of emotions have creeped up behind me and I can’t help but feel a bit sad. I actually feel like I’ve put off these feelings for a long time and have hidden under all the stresses of nursing school and life. And then all of a sudden, just like today, it hits me, real hard, and I don’t know quite what to do with it all. It started when the officers for our class were trying to figure out seating arrangements for our Pinning Ceremony. So of course, I automatically thought, Mommy, Daddy, and CJ. I don’t really want anyone else there, at least, I don’t think so. But then, I started thinking of all the people I wish could be there. I guess I didn’t realize how sad I was about this until I talked to Lola and she was saying how much she wished she could come see me at my graduation. Or when I started thinking about how much I wish Auntie Ruby could have come to see me. I…