It’s March and do you know what that means? It’s application season! I’m starting to compile all the New Grad programs that I want to try to get into and I’m rushing to finalize my resumes and letters of recommendation and cover letters and all those other things I need to apply… It’s stressful because I want to apply everywhere. I want to maximize my chances of getting into a program and I’m going to do whatever it takes. But now that I reflect back on that mindset, I’m starting to hesitate. Am I really a good fit for this hospital? Is this somewhere I can see myself working in for the next 5 years? What can I offer this hospital that other new grads can’t?? To be good enough for these huge hospitals is my conundrum and I’m hesitating on whether or not I should apply to them when my decision to do so is half-hearted.. After all, to choose any path half-heartedly and to have that much doubt is almost like saying you wouldn’t want to pursue that path, right? In basketball, if I had any hesitation in my shot, I knew to stop that shot because I…
-
-
Freeze
I keep having these moments when I’m deep in thought where I have a “freeze” moment. You know, like the ones in the movies where everything stops except for the main character and everything is frozen. Well mine happen for just a split second and in the second I’ve been consistently thinking about how fast my life is moving. It’s really moving quite fast actually. And then I have that thought that hits me square in the forehead where I think, HOLY CRAP I’M GROWING UP WAY TOO FAST. WHERE. DID. ALL. THE. TIME. GO. This coincidentally happens to occur right around birthday month too. It’s crazy because most of my life I’ve been planning. It’s more of, “ok today I need to do this, this, and this. By this day I have to have that finished. In a month, I should have completed this…” I don’t get too much time to look and see how much I’ve actually accomplished until I’m all the way finished with so many things, and then I have that weird moment that I just mentioned. I’m near the end of my nursing program and I keep having those moments, but all of the things…
-
Shhh I’m thinking…
Sasha, you’re so quiet. You’re a really quiet person, huh? I don’t see you talk a lot. Well thanks everyone for stating the obvious. At a certain point, you do get tired of this. Yes, I’m quiet. Yes, I’ve always been like this. For a long time, I would be insecure about this and as a result, I would try to be “loud” and outspoken. These kind of comments made me so insecure that I would try changing myself just so that people would stop labeling me as the quiet one. They made it sound like such a bad thing. You see, what people don’t realize is that I am very happy being quiet. I enjoy it so much. When you spend time listening and observing, you learn a lot more from life. You notice things, things people don’t see. And I love that. While people might think my quiet nature is a weakness, I find it to be my strength, my greatest asset. My quietness branches out to a plethora of different traits that I am so proud of. I know I’m a good listener. I know that I can be trusted with a secret. I can say things…
-
Uncomfortable Love
Today, I was re-inspired by what Pastor Ken talked about in today’s message. Love. Simple right? You’d like to think so. Just like my other post, it seems like people have forgotten what love is. Today it’s seen as that lovey dovey, walking on sunshine, butterflies in stomach kind of love. The kind of love you want to have and want to give. The kind that is easy. Well guess what, that’s not the kind of love God is talking about. It’s that unconditional, UNCOMFORTABLE kind of love that we need to give. Mmmhmm. Uncomfortable is definitely the appropriate word. It’s funny, because I’m fighting with this teaching as we speak. There are many people I’ve become angry with, many people I don’t want to love. All I want to do is shun them from my life and forget they even exist. And yet, God is expecting me to love these people anyway. Why? To simply put it, it’s because God loved us unconditionally. We don’t even deserve God’s love. We really don’t. And yet He has given it to us anyway. What are we doing with this love that He’s given? We selectively choose who deserves love. We become…
-
Forgotten Message
So my church, Evergreen Baptist Church of Los Angeles, is going through a discernment process this summer about an incredibly controversial topic: LGBT Christians. In most churches, this is one of the most “hush-hush” topics that are either avoided by ministers or brushed to the side as something so blatantly obvious that consideration of its resolve would be a waste of time. But for the longest time, I’ve found it to be one of the greatest hypocrisies of my religion, to supposedly love your neighbor, to love everyone, because God first loved us… except for the LGBT community because they don’t count. They’re not people, they are second class citizens in society and in religion. Go ahead and love everyone else except for them. I’ve had conversations with my family about this before, and I always felt persecuted for siding with gays and lesbians. They’re people too, aren’t they? Even with their sexual preferences, not all of them are bad people and a lot of them are actually amazingly awesome people who do God’s work, just like any other heterosexual person. I’m so happy that Pastor Ken is such an obedient servant of God, because this is something that definitely…